What to expect when you’re getting rid of all your stuff, renting out your house, living on the road for the summer, and then moving 7,000 miles away

A list.

  1. You will be tired.
  2. Tired of being excited, tired of saying goodbye, tired of moving things, tired of people asking, “How much do you want for that?”
  3. You will answer the same 15 questions about your plans about 8,573,000,001 times. Each person who asks has no idea how many times you’ve repeated the same information, and it is important to be nice. Also, it gives you a brief understanding of what it must be like to perform Top 20 pop songs, and you feel you finally have a spiritual connection with Brittany Spears.
  4. You will sometimes nap on the couch, grateful that you asked the person who is buying it to hold off on picking it up until the end of the month and while you are in the middle of that nap, you will all of a sudden feel like you are falling, rapidly, and you’ve got to kick out your feet quickly in your dreams which actually then also happens in real life which then causes you to roll off the couch and bump your head on the coffee table which you then wish you’d ask your friend to take earlier than the end of the month even though it makes a good foot rest.
  5. Your nap will then be over.
  6. You will have a lot of paperwork to track, passport photos to gather, phone calls to make, doctor appointments to sneak in somehow, shots to avoid getting, emails to write, and people who will want to see you one last time.
  7. The number of one last time requests increases as the number of days you have diminishes. Remember to allocate friend time according to whether or not they gave a shit about the fact that you weren’t busy most Saturday nights before anyone knew you were moving.
  8. You will spend extra money filling prescriptions, buying extra contact lenses, reserving hotel rooms, buying gas to drive across the country, paying for house repairs like replacing those crumbly concrete steps that make your house look like it belongs in a different part of town, and restaurant food.
  9. Even if you think eating in restaurants all the time is not all that great once you’ve done it too much, you will not have the mental capacity to make decisions about what to buy at the grocery store because you are leaving and you don’t want to throw more things away and you have so many appointments that even looking at the dirty coffee cups in the sink makes you tired. Cooking is pretty much out of the question.
  10. You will find out who your real friends are. They help you get stuff out of the house, give you a bit of money for it, mow your lawn, give you hugs, and stop asking questions when they can tell you aren’t in the mood to answer them. They will also throw you a party that will probably make you cry.
  11. You will cry about stuff that isn’t happening right now. You will lose things. You will forget things, put things in the wrong place, show up late, and wish the hard part was over already. You know it will be, soon, and you won’t be able to wait.

3 thoughts on “What to expect when you’re getting rid of all your stuff, renting out your house, living on the road for the summer, and then moving 7,000 miles away”

  1. #7 is so true! What I’ve learned is that when they can’t remember the date you’re leaving or are epically LATE for your one last time get together when you are, in fact, tremendously busy and don’t have time for it, it’s OK to mush on without seeing them. Well for the latter, that’s what I’d do if it came up again…

    Bon chance, Voix! And safe travels!

  2. I think it’s too bad you can’t be psychic and allocate the time you spend with people with how well they continue to correspond when you move – that one is a big surprise, I’ll tell you!

    If I had made a list like this it would include: “you will obsess over entirely inconsequential things, such as buying and labelling a special file for all the greeting and birthday cards you bought for no specific occasion and have yet to give anyone, just because they were funny, because you are trying not to think ‘what the hell am I doing?!” Or maybe that was just me 🙂 Good luck with a fantastic journey!

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